For the record, i did exactly the same thing
by Lara Cox
Summary: ONE SHOTRachel's true feelings on the nigth Chandler and Monica got engaged. based on Leondra's fanfic titled: For the recordr&Ch M


**AN: hi! this is a very short story…. is Rachel/Chandler and also Mondler…. Is kind of based on "For the record" (Leondra's wonderful short fanfic) and in a very beautiful Spanish song. **

Is about Rachel's true feelings when Monica and Chandler announce their engagement. It takes place in "TOW Monica's thunder"

**Disclaimer: I don't own friends (but I'll ask it for next Christmas) and I don't also own "For the record" (Leondra does)… what do I own? Courtney's last name, a computer, and some friend's DVDs **

**For the record, I did exactly the same thing… **

For the record, I hadn't meantfor ANY of this to happen. I hadn't meant to fall in love whit him… I was supposed to be in love whit his best friend… whit his future brother in law.

All I wanted when I let that happen was to fell better. I didn't want any of this to happen.

I turned to him looking for comfort… just as his future wife did right after me…

For the record, I was devastated the night when he and I had that "one night stand"… I was devastated because my ex boyfriend got engaged before me…

Maybe you don't know this, but a woman is always competing whit her ex boyfriend… the competition is called "who will be the one who will die alone and miserable"… and the night Ross and Emily announced happily their engagement I thought that I had lost… I was going to be the ex who would die alone and miserable… I couldn't let that idea bring me down…

What I did to make my self feel better is something I'm not proud of… When everybody was sleeping I when across the hall I waked him up (I was very careful not to wake Joey up too) and I started telling him how sad I was and he comforted me… then (and this is the part I'm not proud of) we made passionate love…

For the record… Chandler had wanted to do it again, he had wanted to try some kind of relationship whit me but I told Chandler that we were better off being just friends… how wrong I was… Chandler was better off that way… I wasn't… he immediately moved on… in London he got together with Monica and that was the end of whatever he felt for me…

When I first found out that he and Monica were together and they declared their love for each other I was ok… I really was fine… but only because I was still on denial… I thought that they were just fooling around and I was sure that I had feelings for Ross… but a year went by and Monica and Chandler seemed unbreakable…

The day I realized that they were really moving in together was the day I realized how I felt for Chandler… that day was really the end of an era… suddenly I walked into the age of un-innocence: I didn't have "breakfast at tiffany's" or an "affair to remember", instead I found my self having breakfast at Chandler and Monica's and trying to forget my affair whit Chandler as quickly as possible…

I was unsuccessful… tonight Chandler and Monica got engaged and that is killing me inside…

So many hopes are over today… so many dreams I have to let go… and I don't even know why… because, for the record, I did exactly the same thing Monica did… I turned to him looking for nothing but comfort too… I slept whit him only because I was sad but I ended up in love whit him… wasn't that what Monica did? Then… how come he fell in love whit her and not whit me?

For the record, I hadn't meantfor ANY of this to happen. All I wanted when I let that happen was to fell better. I didn't want any of this to happen. But it did happened. Since he moved in with Monica and Ii hit me that I was in love whit him I did nothing but wishing…

I wished I could stop time… I wanted to "rewind the video of my life" and go back to the night I spent whit Chandler. I wanted to "press the pause bottom" and stop time right there… I wanted to stop time and stay forever whit his beautiful blue eyes looking at me, whit his arms around me, whit him longing to hold me tight.

I wanted to "rewind the video of my life" and go back the minute before I left Chandler's room… I wanted to stop that moment and stay in his room forever… I did want to do that…

I wanted to change the world, but the world is like it is… I wanted so bad to dig deep inside his soul. I wanted him to be with me… I wanted him to be forever mine… I wanted that… I did want that…

But tonight he got engaged to Monica and I have to stop wishing, I have to stop hoping, I have to stop dreaming… this things happen… that's the way love is… I have to understand it, I have to accept that…

He loves her. I may not understand why, but he does… and, for the record, I did exactly the same thing she did… and that's what it's killing me.

**The end… **

So… what do you think? Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? PLEASE REVIEW! Your reviews always make my day!


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